Does every shape need pointy tips, sharp edges?
Every point a counter,
every rainbow, rain?
Does heat need to burn so bad?
Must every resolution begin with a fight?
Does every hand held,
need a verbal slap in the face?
Every kiss, a sip of poison?
Does sunshine need snow?
Can’t we ever just agree?
Does every iamb need a stress-unstress?
Need passion breed pain?
Do you have to egg me on to pull me up,
to help me grow?
Must ground be broken for a building gained?
Does fall always end in winter?
Why can't we circle round to when
I love you
was the easiest hard thing to say?
I like the idea of this poem and thought the theme was executed well throughout. I liked that not every line had a question, maybe you could do that lower down in the poem where there are more lines of questions back to back. I didn't think the “sunshine and snow” line was as strong as the rest. Overall I think you did a good job bringing in interesting counter examples.
ReplyDeleteHi! I agree with Rivka's comments. Maybe you can improve this poem by having more consistency as to what type of comments/questions are bring raised. Your title seems to suggest that each line would contain some contradiction or tension, but some of your lines don't seem to be following that lead. For example, "Why can't we circle round to when/ I love you/ was the easiest hard thing to say?" didn't seem to be asking a real question of possibility. It seemed to be a question of suggestion. (Please let me know if I was not clear in the distinction between those two ideas). If you are not aiming for consistency, think of some ways to set that expectation for your readers. Great idea though! I am sure the improved version will be superb.
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